Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride

It always amazes me how The Money Conversation™ appears in my life and either teaches me a lesson or reminds me just how far along the path towards healing my relationship with money has come.  Just this morning while making my bed I was reminded of a situation I had long forgotten about.

A couple of years ago, my friend Sara suggested that I hire her friend from NYC to perform a Feng Shui consult of my home.  The NYC friends would come down, do the consult and then we would all go out to dinner. 

That evening when we went out to dinner and the bill came to the table, Sara announced that she and I would split the bill and treat the NYC friends and that the next day she had a prior engagement and I would be brining them back to the train station.  Prior to this announcement at dinner, I was not privy to Sara’s plan.

I felt ambushed by Sara and this was not the first time I found myself in this sort of situation with her.  I didn’t know what to say or do at that moment so I went along with the situation even though financially I was not in a position to afford both the Feng Shui consult and treating them to dinner.

So what is The Money Conversation™ in this story?  The Money Conversation are those stories we tell ourselves about money.  There are always at least two conversations or multiple conversations going on depending on how many people are involved in the situation. 

My Money Conversation:  At the time of this situation, I allowed my boundaries to be taken advantage of.  At dinner when Sara announced that we would be treating them to dinner and I would be taking them to the train station the next day, I could have spoken up and asked to speak with privately or had been honest with the table and say that treating them to dinner was not a part of my financial plan for the evening. 

What’s the worse thing that could have happened?  There would have been a moment of awkward silence?

Instead I became angry at myself and Sara.  I allowed this to brew under the surface and eventually it came to a head and resulted in our friendship being severely damaged.

Sara’s Money Conversation:  Whenever the NYC friends visited, Sara would pick them up from the train station and treat them for the whole weekend – what ever they did, she footed the bill and then afterward complain about it!  Also, Sara had just gone through a divorce and was not in the financial position to be treating anyone to dinner let alone a whole weekend of events.

 What was going on with Sara is that she was feeling obligated to the NYC friends because they helped her leave a marriage that was not right for her.  Guilt was fueling Sara to spend money she did not have.

As you can see from both of our money conversations™, it’s never about the money but rather the emotional place we are operating from.  In this situation, it just showed up through money. 

That is why it is so important to check in with your emotional guidance scale and determine if you are operating from a lower, slower energetic vibration (anger, guilt, insecurity, unworthiness) or a higher energetic vibration (hopefulness, joy, appreciation). 

When we are emotionally operating from a lower energetic vibration it is harder to create a solution that is in your highest and best interest.  At these moments, you must be willing to be courageous and take a stand for yourself.  One of the best ways I have learned to do this for myself is to PAUSE and BREATHE.

PAUSING AND BREATHING allows me center myself and create space to move to a higher emotional vibration, thus creating a solution that is more in alignment with my highest and best interest.

So, the next time you find yourself in an awkward money situation remember to PAUSE and BREATHE!